Q: What happens if I start having feelings of affection and intimacy with my therapist?

A: The therapist, of course, will always make sure from an ethical, legal professional point of view to keep the relationship professional. So the next question then becomes, “how can we understand these feelings?”

Therapy is a very involved relationship, right? Somebody you’re working closely with who knows a lot about you. You might reveal things that you wouldn’t say to somebody else. How can the patient actualize that with somebody in the real world? In other words, the therapist’s job would be to say, “oh, it seems like what you like about our dialogue is you feel heard or you feel like we can talk openly.” Those are very good models for what a good relationship looks like. If somebody who listens and really understands and cares about you is something you value, that’s great! Let’s help you find that in the real world, so to speak, with somebody you can actually pursue who’s not your therapist.